In
today’s Bible Study, the first song I was there to participate in
(after having retrieved the song books from where the women
horde them in the worship studio, for their study, without
ever returning them for
ours), was Farther Along: “Farther along we’ll know
all about it, Farther along
we’ll understand why…”.
We
talked about wanting things now instead of
patiently awaiting God’s timing for that something to come our way.
Pushing for that something before its time can delay its time, and if
you never stop, it might never come.
Oh,
Beloved, please understand that.
And
yet, just now, the words of the chorus of the first song I ever wrote
come to mind: “Keep on pushin’ cause you’re getting through!
Keep on pushin’ because I need
you!” It was the words—the
heart-wrenching words—of
a lonely, lonely heart. I lost it many years ago, and I doubt
I’ll ever find that song again.
In
some ways I am still that lonely, lonely man—who
never can seem to connect with that one who has his heart—and
no matter how patient I try to be my heart pushes, and pushes, and I
have never been able to stop it pushing—and
what it wants never comes, never knocks upon the door of my heart,
saying, “I’m here! Let me in! I’ve finally come!”
Even
those who claim to love
me
Only
ever turn and flee
And
never turn the key,
Opening
their heart to me.
Even
just writing this I run the risk of the well-meddlers trying to push
their own ideas on me of what I should—in
their blinded eyes—want,
rather than staying out of the way to simply pray. Man’s efforts do
not interest me—only
God’s.
You
should never, ever—even
seek to—instruct
someone else on what the desire of their heart really is.
And
truly, does anyone ever just shut their mouths and simply ask God—and
truly listen to Him—in
prayer, about me? If they
have, how is it that I have never experienced the fruits of those
queries? Why is it that everyone always seems to think they know
better than me what I want or need? Were they to do so, and actually
just humbly act upon what God really tells them, then what they would
bring would absolutely fit me to a “T”.
But
no such blessing ever comes.
Why
is that?
One
way that I do lack, as I implied above, is in the patience to just
sit back and watch, trusting God to fit my needs to me. My hopes,
wishes and dreams only ever seem to keep their door bolted, barred,
locked, and nailed shut in my face, rather than opening to me.
And
no one ever listens.
And
no one ever hears.
And
no one even cares.
That
is the assessment that I see.
There
are things that God has promised me—there
are people that God has promised me—and I must still learn the
patience to accept that, until Heaven, they might never come to me.
Will
they even be there
with me? See,
I
have even come—in
spite of their protestations to the contrary—to
doubt that they will even be there to see me.
Right
now—at
this moment—it
is my heart’s cry for them to hear the Lord, and—finally—to
obey.
William
F. Maddock
Groundhog’s
Day, 2016
